....

sometimes thinks just dont seem to work the way in which you think they should. if only we could see what is coming, so it doesnt effect you so much. i no thinks happen for a reason, but why cant we understand why. why cant something just work out the way we want it for once?

we always have mates to fail back on, but they are the same, there is always that hole inside you once you have felt true love, you cant move on, no matter how hard you try. nothing can take your mind off it, i just wish things would one day work out

happy birthday stef!

happy birthday mate! hope you are enjoying yourself up there, bet your up there having a big party like you use to on a good friday or saturday night out.

thinking of you always mate xx

you

cant believe just how long ive spent in the bath this evening just thinking things other, there is so much going on in my head i just dont know what to do. even a carlsburg didnt help. all i can do is think about you, you wont believe just how much you mean to me. yer i know you are confused about what to do, and where you stand, but its right here with me.ive never been able to open up to anyone like i can with you. and you can tell me anything. i hate the feeling when i send a text, and hear no reply, even if its just asking if you have had a good weekend. i hope now after what ive done you will understand what you mean, and how now all i can do is just wait for your reply, the knowledge that the ball is now in your court. hopefully i will see you tomorrow, but we never know what the next day will bring, all i can do is wait and hope! x

mayday

what an amazing time! think this year has got to be one of the best. headed into padstow at 8 on saturday, to go up and see stefan before i went into town and already there had been loads of flowers left there for him, it was nice to see that no one had forgotten about him. once i got into town, i went and joined the child's oss for an hour, until it went in. after that i bumped into some mates, and we went and got a pasty then headed to the pub to start the day off lol. as soon as our oss was out we set off dancing around town, drinks in hands, celebrating our tradition about why we do this every year. not long after this i saw mum, and my aunts, one of them hasn't been able to come to mayday in 9 years, because she has been living up county. we made this year a special one, even tho it wasn't the same, we still we all out! i followed the oss all the way up glyn road, round towards the old peoples homes, where we popped in to see all them, and show that there is still a massive community where we all look after each other. we were so lucky that it didnt rain, for nearly the whole afternoon which was good, but what was better was that when it did rain, it cleared out nearly all the emits so we could actually follow the oss without having to try and push our way through wave after wave of them. by this time, we all had a lot to drink, but was still going strong. the evening was very good, met some mates i hadnt seen in a very long time, so went round the fair with them for a bit, and went on the river dancer, which was very funny considering that some of them were drunk lol and that it seemed to just keep speeding up. the farewell was moving, just couldn't help but think about stefan, but we all knew he was there with us. after the oss had gone in, we went pub, and had like a Lindsey family meet up in the pub, we basically took over the whole pub with the amount of us that was there, some of them i didn't even know, yet they are family lol. was just a shame that the day had to end. but it was still nevertheless an amazing day! OSS OSS, WEE OSS!

Engine

had an amazing day today, just managed to buy myself a 1.8i Dohc 16V engine, gearbox, ecu for £50, so happy about that, cant wait to get her fitted into the proton, will be brill, the engine produces about 140BHP and with a re-map it will be up to about 200BHP with 300lbs/ft.
basically loving life now lol

RIP Jordan

RIP mate, it should not of happened to you, only saw you earlier that night. hope your being looked after up there.

sleep tight mate x

weekend

just finished parents evening, which turned out to be quite good, some of the things that were said was very nice which i was happy with. afterwards we got in the car and left Cornwall, and headed up the motorway, and have stopped in Bristol just next to the airport, because my brother arrives back from New York at 7.40 in the morning, which afterwards we are having some breakfast, then headed even further up county to Birmingham to visit the uni and have a tour around. after we have finished looking at Birmingham depending on the time i want to pop across to north London to have a look at another car, an Audi A4 1.9 TDi which is extremely nice, but it all depends on time if we can get over there in time. on Saturday we are going to UWE open day and having a good look around because this is the place where most of my friends are going, and where i would like to go, but it is the one that needs the best grades. during the evening when we get back to sunny Cornwall i have a big party to go to, its a foam party at St Columb, where nearly 500 people have been invited which should be good fun, i just dont know what to wear lol, but im sure ill find something. once the party is over, a few of us are going to camp it out in the car which should be a good laugh so im quite excited about it! hopefully i wont be too drunk tho, because i have to hand in my computing coursework on monday and still have a fair bit to do, so it might be a little bit of a rush, but fingers cross lol.

anyway ive just looked at the time, and if ive got to be up at 7 i best get some sleep, so ill love you all and leave you, night x